Attached.

I had my Surgical Ward Duty @ RPH. It was a different experience. I knew we would be 'toxic' because I kept on hearing comments from groups who had their duties there but I never knew that this would be a rotation where I would be so attached to my patient that I cried when I heard something bad had happened. My patient was a really nice person. He was always smiling even though he was in pain. He has been my patient for 2 weeks, and for 2 weeks, I know that I've done what I could and all the nurses have done every step that they could to save his life. The last time I saw him was last Friday. When we went back for our last duty, I thought he was in the Operating Room, and for the first time in my life, I was happy and willing to be taking his Vital Signs every 15 minutes simply because it was HIM. Then I heard the bad news, he was rushed downstairs because he found it hard to breathe and he already had sepsis. At first, I wasn't crying until I remembered his smile. He was like my grandfather - always smiling, funny and kind. You know that warm feeling you get when someone genuinely smiles at you? I felt that way every time I entered the diabetic ward. Hearing what happened to him, I felt like I lost someone important. I don't know how nurses become 'immune' from seeing some people pass away and I don't know if I'll ever be able to be 'immune' as well. One thing I'll never forget is how pure his kindness was and how his smile brought out the smile in everyone's faces.